Attaching to God: Neuroscience-informed Spiritual Formation · Geoff and Cyd Holsclaw

110 Armoring Up, Anxiety, and Finding the Right-Sized God (with Lisa Cuss)

·47 min·2 clips

Jeff’s childhood bathroom memory is reframed by Jesus as “a clever choice,” not humiliation.

Jeff opens by welcoming listeners and framing the show around an attachment-based, relationship-focused, Jesus-centered approach to spiritual formation. He introduces Lisa Kuss as a licensed therapist, speaker, and trainer who works where psychology and faith meet. Lisa describes the people she sees in counseling as often carrying deep pain, stuckness, and trauma. She talks about how attachment language can help people understand themselves and their relationships with God. The conversation turns to the gap some believers live in between what they know about God’s love and grace and what they can receive for themselves. Jeff and Lisa keep coming back to the difference between speaking about God clearly and actually experiencing that truth personally. Lisa names the way trauma can sit underneath that gap. The discussion broadens to people who have been hurt in church and now carry confusion about what came from people and what came from God. Lisa says that woundedness gets tangled when the God question is involved. She describes the way inner criticism, other people’s voices, and assumptions about God can all blur together. The conversation makes room for grief. Lisa speaks about EMDR as a way of helping the body open up what has been held for a long time. She describes how, in recent work, the target of that healing can shift from human relationships to God himself. That shift matters because it asks not only who hurt me, but where was God in the hurt. Jeff leans into that question and Lisa responds by describing a process of sorting through images of God. Those images can show a God who is present in pain, interrupts suffering, promises presence, and helps a person feel seen. The tone stays conversational throughout. By the end, Jeff names the hope of helping pastors and churches grow in secure attachment and reduce church hurt. Lisa leaves the conversation sounding grateful for the chance to think out loud about healing and faith.

As heard by us

A grounded conversation about trauma, church hurt, and learning to see God as safe.

This episode follows Lisa Kuss and Jeff Holzclaw as they talk through trauma, church hurt, and the old wounds that can make God feel distant or unsafe.

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Why you'd press play

If your faith feels tangled up with woundedness, this conversation speaks gently to that.

Read the full recommendation in PlayNext →

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