Ask Christopher West

Can violent men change, Can I grieve my boyfriend’s past, Does marriage distract us from God? | ACW342

·50 min·5 clips
A Brazilian prosecutor asks how to stop domestic violence by teaching men the dignity of the person.
The episode begins with Christopher and Wendy discussing the movie 'A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood' and its themes of love and forgiveness. They then share updates from the Theology of the Body Institute, including a trip to Rome, a course on C.S. Lewis and Tolkien, and a pilgrimage to Mexico City. The first question is from Vitor, a public prosecutor in Brazil, who prosecutes homicides and gives talks to men with restraining orders; he asks what else to emphasize in his lectures to prevent domestic violence, linking it to the sexual revolution and pornography. Christopher responds that the cure is seeing the true dignity of the person, explaining how pornography ruptures body and soul and leads to death-dealing attitudes. Wendy adds that these men also need to know their own dignity. The second question is from an anonymous listener who feels sorrow over her boyfriend's lost virginity; Christopher affirms her sorrow, advises giving it to Jesus, and distinguishes between marital and non-marital sexual acts, noting that if they marry, their marital embrace will be something new for him. Wendy shares her experience of safely discussing Christopher's past during their engagement. The third question is from Tassiana, who is confused by biblical passages that seem to suggest marriage distracts from pleasing God, specifically citing St. Paul and Peter leaving his wife. Christopher explains that Paul's letters can be confusing and that John Paul II's Theology of the Body clarifies that loving one's spouse rightly pleases God, as marriage is a sacrament. Wendy notes the anxiety in the question and affirms the value of both celibacy and marriage. Christopher concludes with an analogy comparing holy sexuality in marriage to an alcoholic learning to drink wine rightly, emphasizing that perfection is measured by love.

As heard by us

A pastoral Q&A on sexual history, purification, and the promises that give the marital act its meaning.

Marriage, sexual history, and the hope of purification shape a pastoral Q&A about what holiness can look like when the past still presses on the heart.

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Why you'd press play

Press play when a partner's sexual past, painful purification, and marriage before God refuse to stay theoretical.

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