ADHD for Smart Ass Women with Tracy Otsuka · Tracy Otsuka

EP. 354: Why Burnout Conversations Fail Without Neurodiversity with Nicole Bela

October 15, 2025·1 hr 21 min·6 clips

Nicole, diagnosed at 37 right after her second son's birth, describes walking in to tell her husband her ADHD diagnosis and realizing she was in shock — not excitement — saying 'what does this mean?'

1. 'ADHD for Smart Ass Women' episode 354 features Nicole Bela discussing late-diagnosed ADHD, burnout, and neurodiversity in the nonprofit fundraising sector. 2. Guest Nicole Bela is a certified fundraising executive with a master's in social work, director of development at Advance Illinois, and a late-diagnosed ADHD woman who turned 40 the day before recording. 3. The episode's core thesis is that nonprofit sector burnout and retention conversations will keep failing until organizations explicitly include neurodiversity — particularly ADHD — in their mental health frameworks. 4. Nicole ran three marathons and ten-to-eleven half-marathons before having children; she later realized this was undiagnosed ADHD nervous-system regulation, a connection Tracy confirms is equivalent to 20 minutes at 70% heart rate being as effective as a course of Adderall and Prozac. 5. After her second son's birth in 2022, Nicole lost access to regular exercise, moved back to Chicago from Seattle, changed jobs, and felt she was 'drowning' — unable to understand why everyone else seemed to handle the same pressures. 6. A therapist over a decade earlier had attributed Nicole's forgetting and focus struggles to generalized anxiety rather than ADHD, a pattern Nicole says reflects the broader lack of research and training around ADHD in women and minorities. 7. The formal ADHD trigger was a friend's video on auditory processing and ADHD, which led Nicole to realize that needing TV subtitles to pay attention was not typical; she was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD in late 2022. 8. During the CFRE (Certified Fundraising Executive) exam, Nicole nearly failed because she could not use the accommodations she needed — reading questions aloud and covering her mouth while concentrating — since she did not yet know she had ADHD. 9. After diagnosis, Nicole's fixer impulse led her to try overhauling everything simultaneously: sleep, exercise, interrupting less, being a better mother, wife, and fundraiser — an approach she describes as 'super mom kryptonite' that eventually caused everything to collapse. 10. The turning point was a fall down the stairs while holding coffee and carrying her son before a holiday party; she had been telling her husband 'I need to slow down' for months, and the accident made her finally commit to saying no. 11. Nicole wrote 'Unmasking Burnout' for AFP Global after reading an article in May and contacting the editors to argue that neurodiversity was missing from the burnout conversation; they invited her to write the piece. 12. Her hypothesis — based on pattern recognition rather than data — is that the nonprofit sector has a disproportionate number of neurodiverse people, driven partly by injustice sensitivity, a trait common in both ADHD and people drawn to mission-driven work. 13. Nicole argues that masking in the workplace makes burnout worse, and that organizations talking about retention without acknowledging neurodiversity are missing a structural factor, especially for women and minorities who make up the sector's workforce. 14. Tracy notes that 20 minutes of aerobic exercise at 70% maximum heart rate is as effective as a combined course of Adderall and Prozac for ADHD regulation. 15. Nicole describes the importance of quiet morning time before her children wake up — and how days that start chaotically leave her 'not as sharp' and less effective throughout. 16. Nicole's father was late-diagnosed with dyslexia, and she suspects he also has ADHD; she connects her own childhood daydreaming and shyness to the inattentive presentation that makes ADHD in girls harder to recognize. 17. The episode is a one-on-one interview with a conversational, personal tone; both host and guest frequently interrupt, self-correct, and share overlapping personal stories, reflecting the ADHD communication style they discuss. 18. Tracy and Nicole have a warm, peer dynamic — Tracy repeatedly confirms Nicole's experiences from her own knowledge as an ADHD coach and author of 'ADHD for Smartass Women.' 19. Late-diagnosed ADHD women in high-pressure jobs, especially in nonprofit, social work, or mission-driven sectors, will find the most direct relevance. 20. Listeners looking for clinical or research-heavy content on ADHD treatment protocols rather than lived experience and advocacy will likely find this episode too personal.

As heard by us

Burnout gets clearer when masking and neurodiversity are part of the frame.

The episode widens burnout beyond standard self-care language and ties it to workplace culture, masking, and the gap between saying the right things about mental health and making room for people to be themselves.

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Why you'd press play

You want a clearer take on burnout, masking, and belonging that does not blame your brain.

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