A Dancer's Mindset · Ballet with Isabella

Ep. 112 What do you say to yourself daily? Afraid of saying good things?

March 20, 2024·37 min·3 clips

Suvi Honkanen reveals she never woke up feeling calm at ballet school, always starting the day with extreme anxiety.

Host Isabella is joined by returning guest Suvi Honkanen, both former professional dancers who trained at the Vaganova Academy. They explore the daily internal dialogue dancers maintain, contrasting their past negative self-talk with healthier approaches they've learned as adults. The conversation centers on their shared experiences in the intense, perfectionist environment of elite ballet training. Isabella and Suvi recall living near each other at the Vaganova Academy but feeling they never fully shared their deepest anxieties. Suvi describes her typical morning thought as a student being something negative like, "Oh my gosh, I'm tired, I don't know how I'm gonna do this." Isabella reveals she consistently woke up feeling extremely anxious, a pattern she traces back to childhood. They explain the training focused relentlessly on correcting faults, offering no tools for positive thinking or self-praise. Both felt an overwhelming pressure that they were "not allowed to fail," which made any mistake feel catastrophic. A key insight is that their anxious drive may have hindered more than helped, as a single stumble could derail an entire class because they couldn't recover mentally. They discuss a current student in her twenties who actively rejects praise, asking her teacher to say her work was "terrible" instead, because identifying as "good" felt uncomfortable. The hosts argue that self-worth became entirely dependent on external validation from coaches, creating a desperate hunger for praise. They note a toxic belief common in ballet: that being happy with yourself means you'll stop working hard. Isabella describes her current daily mood swings, joking she goes through "a thousand moods," but emphasizes actively choosing positive self-talk can change her entire day. They conclude that celebrating failures as necessary lessons would have made them more resilient. Reflecting on mortality, including the loss of a friend, gave them perspective on enjoying the present. The episode ends with a suggested mantra: "The failures I make today are lessons learned for tomorrow." The tone is a candid, reflective, and intimate conversation between two friends with deep shared history. The style is conversational and anecdotal, blending personal stories with broader observations on dance psychology. This episode would deeply resonate with current or former dancers, athletes in perfectionist sports, or anyone struggling with negative self-talk and imposter syndrome. Listeners seeking a highly structured, topic-focused interview or those uncomfortable with personal, meandering conversations might find it less engaging.

As heard by us

A grounded studio conversation about self-talk, mistakes, and the work of staying kind to yourself.

A Dancer's Mindset keeps its focus on the small, unglamorous work behind ballet: getting through a rough morning, talking back to self-doubt, and showing up again after a stumble.

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Why you'd press play

Press play if your inner critic gets loud before the day even starts, especially before ballet class.

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